Lyrics for the songs from the album ‘Make Me Believe In Hope’
All lyrics written by Rod Thomas (c) 2012.
In the storm of solitude, my one reliant friend that makes the heart beat faster then slows it to a calm again, I find some things of wonder that open up the doors, a few more notes of laughter that bring some colour to these tired pores. Now everything I wanted seems so immature, all the time I wasted shines like gold. Through my fits of laughter I try to make amends for wicked thoughts I’ve had time and again. And promise that hereafter I’ll no longer be a slave to greed and lust I’ll make my dreams behave, cos you’d be so disappointed if you knew those fickle words that were falling from my mouth to be heard. Now everything I wanted seems so … And it hurts to be so young, to be so misunderstood, feeling all the bad take over the good. Now everything I wanted seems so … And now I feel so ordinary.
Here’s the thing, didn’t know what I was harbouring (it’s called desire), just enough to let myself believe that I’m in love (and walk your way), that you’re the light and I want to see it, that you’re the heat and I want to feel it. So give me something to dream about, be the reason the lights go out. Give me something to scream about, be the reason to open my mouth. Let the seasons come and go, be the reason it never gets cold so when the world falls apart, you’re the reason there’s still hope in my heart. I yearn for the beginning when nothing felt like this, to feel that first explosion, the first real kiss, and that fire in the stomach, the screaming of the heart, the beat and the rhythm that tears your dreams apart. If there’s a light then I want to see it. If there’s heat then I want to be it, that sweat that drips all over your body, just open up your lips and say you love me. Turn it up. Feel it. Let it out. Just open up your lips and say you love me.
LOVE PART II
Clever boy, you’ve got one eye on the clock so you don’t waste time now, do you? You’re not the same as those other wastes of space, that’s why I have time now for you. You can take these hours and do as you see fit with all my days, and I’ll take your hand and say “do what you want with me and let everybody see that I’m in love again”. That you changed my mind, that you took me by surprise and I’m in love again. Clever boy, you’ve got one hand on my side, don’t let me slip out of view. You can take these words right from my mouth, do with them as you will and I’ll be right here until you do what you want with me … So take your chance and make a stand, come take my hand and do what you want with me.
WAITING FOR THE FEELING
I’m waiting for the feeling to get to me and throw me to the floor. You found a little place in the back of my mind, so just work a little more. And think of how you want to spend the rest of your days, with all your dreams still in your head? Learn to be heard without all of the words, no good to me, they’ve all been said and I want someone who reaches out so we connect, oh I want someone who reaches out. Someone who can show me love but you keep on telling me what you want, oh you keep on telling me how I feel, but I want someone who can make me fall in love and then hit the ground running, not just keep on telling me. I’m better than the things that you want from me so take another guess and slip a little further into fantasy, just put it to the test. Think about the words that you’ve started to say, no good for me, you’ve lost your head. You’re taking it for granted that I will be around, don’t want to be your safety net cos I want someone who reaches out so we connect, oh I want someone who reaches out. Someone who can show me love but you keep on telling me what you want, oh you keep on telling me how I feel, but I want someone who can make me fall in love and then hit the ground running. Who can make me feel what you keep on telling me, show the love that you keep on telling me. I’m waiting for the feeling to get to me and throw me to the floor.
CRY AT FILMS
Soon you’re bleeding but I can’t stop this love from leaving so I mop it up. You find your skin on my hands, and I find our passion gone. You ask for more time, and I ask myself again where did I go wrong? So I cry at films that show me a good life, that show where I want to be, that show where we should be now, I don’t know, where did I go wrong? How to change a heartbeat is so much easier said than done. One souvenir of how we were and I’m overcome. You find me left in pieces and I find our passion gone. You ask for more time, and I ask myself again where did I go wrong? I try to think of words to say but you never hear them, you never talk about it. Look how this heart slips away, oh, you never notice, you never think about it. Don’t ask for more time, just ask yourself where did I go wrong?
Now when you’re face to face with someone what do you see? When you look at their reflection isn’t it me? Cos I can see you in me and me in you, and no matter what the distance it comes through. In a laugh, in a shadow, in a dream, when we move, no matter what the distance it comes through. We can move apart I guess and I can move along I guess and I can do my best, I guess, but then what’s the use? When it’s all I knew, moving on’s the hardest thing to do. Now when I’m face to face with someone what do I feel? When you’ve opened up to someone how do you heal? When there’s nothing left in me to get me through, when all I feel is distance, what do I do? With a laugh comes a shadow, with a dream comes a move of all the things I hide inside me right back into view. We can move apart I guess and I can move along I guess and I can do my best I guess, but then what’s the use?
If this is just another awkward conversation that we have, let’s leave it till morning. I want to go home, or stay out, or go dance, just not this. You seem to change your mind in a heartbeat, but still you try to keep your arm somewhere around me, well not like this. It’s not how I operate. I’m as patient as the next man, I’d like to think, but not when answers can’t be found. And I am open, I am open but I might just close if you make it so hard to be around, it’s no surprise that the cracks are showing. You make it so hard to be around, it’s no surprise that the line is breaking up. In the past we had fun, but not now. You’re serious, and I’m serious, that if we don’t find our way back to how things were we’re done. You seem to change your mind in a heartbeat, but still you try to keep your arm somewhere around me, and I am open, I am open but I might just close if you make it so hard … So you have your disco moment alone, I’ll stand at the side of the room. You’re dressed in light, I’m just a shadow that’s flickering. And I am open I am open but I might just close if you make it so hard …
A NEW WORD TO SAY
Got love but you don’t know what to do with it. Haven’t thought of a new word to say in so long, wouldn’t know what to do with it, so I’ll use the same old goodbyes and move on, or at least move away. Wasn’t the right thing to say at the time I know, but then what else could I do? It’s not the right way to be I know, but then some things never change about you. What is this strange thing you’re pushing my way? I don’t know what to do with it. Looks like it’s trying to be gentle but it broke my heart and so I’ll just give it back. Wasn’t the right thing to say I know but then what else could I do? And it’s not the right way to be I know but then some things never change about you. Wasn’t the right thing to say at the time I know, and it’s not the right way to be I know but then what are you gonna do? Haven’t thought of a new word to say in so long I wouldn’t know what to do with it.
HOW TO MAKE A HEART
Everything is upturned, but you don’t know what you’re looking for. It’s funny in such a small room that love can get lost so soon. It was just a little heartbeat, still too fragile, and too weak to ever make it through without shattering, to ever make it through without breaking. Still I thought I saw the start of a whole new thing that could really have been something. Still, no matter how hard I squeeze this hand it’s not feeling. How do you make a heart light up until everything is fireworks, until the heart is yours? How do you make a heart light up until everything is fireworks, everything is love, and the heart is yours? Why are we so uptight if we don’t know what we’re looking for? It’s funny in such a small room there could be so much space between us. We could spend the whole night talking about this. We could spend the whole night placing the blame. We can say the same words over and over and never get to figure it out, how to make a heart … So I tried to build a home where there should not be and I built a little wall around me until you could not see, until you could not see, till you could no longer see me. And now there’s one more broken heart in the world, well who wants to hear about it? There’s just one more person in the corner of the room left crying “how do you make a heart light up until everything is fireworks, until the heart is yours?”
One dance left. I don’t know who’s leading who. Your arms have gone limp and I just slipped out of your grasp. And though we might say that we’re alright, it’s clear that we’ve stepped out of time. There’s something quite telling just there at the edge of your smile. And it’s not that a heart has been broken it’s just sad when the flames start to freeze, and the sparks that we had can no longer light up our debris. It’s just part of us all growing older, facing things that we don’t want to see, like a heart is a thing ever changing, and love is a thing that will come and go with the breeze.
It takes a lot to be somebody you don’t want to be, to give somebody back what you can’t keep, hoping that a lover can be gracious in defeat knowing you could never be. It takes time. And time makes me so curious that I no longer sleep, time makes me so fickle I can’t breathe. I owe so much to love that I left drifting on the breeze. More than I can bring myself to speak. It takes time to say a word and learn to believe it, let go of what you need gone, keep hope when you don’t see it, keep on moving along, speak out what you believe in, make up for what you’ve done wrong and let it go, and start to open up again. It takes a lot to watch somebody tear at every seam knowing you’re the cause of what they feel. And pain will make them furious until they find release, until you know they’re ready to make peace. And that takes time. Takes a lot to see somebody cry when you care but it’s just not right. Takes a lot to see somebody cry out when you care but it’s just not right. Takes a lot to see somebody cry, takes a lot to make it right and say a word and learn to believe it …
Additional vocals on ‘Feel It’ by Mykal Kilgore, arranged & engineered by Del Marquis
Additional vocals & lead guitar on ‘Cry At Films’ by Del Marquis
Additional vocals on ‘Debris’ by Allison Pierce
Additional vocals on ‘Grace’ by James Yuill & Sophie Galpin